The Truth Hurts

There are some things that come along as quiet truths. Some things float into your mind and you say, "Ah! So, that's what this is all about." Other times, like this one, you say something more like, "Frikin' A! Well, CRAP! NOW I get it!"
Forgive my lame curses, but that's exactly what went through my mind yesterday when I was pondering Lily's discipline issues. I have been praying for her tirelessly and asking God to show me how to turn our home into a quiet respite of peace and tranquillity. Well, I will say that when you ask God to change someone else you usually realize that it's YOU that needs to change. That's what I realized.
You see, I'm not the most quiet person around. I know, hard to believe. But my "volume" can be taken a number of ways, I'm realizing. My husband and I love to banter. We LOVE to be sarcastic and often this can be perceived as "biting" or rude. Sooo, I'm sure you all know where this is leading me. Lily is three and a half. She doesn't get sarcasm. No small kid does. They aren't made to understand it. In fact, you have to grow up and get a little jaded and cynical for it to be a "fun" thing in which to partake. I don't imagine Jesus was sarcastic (at least not without love). And now my Lily watches. She watches her loud Momma. She sees her jest and poke fun at her Daddy. She sees her be stubborn and bull-headed about various topics. I can't believe I didn't see it before. She's just trying to be like me!
So today I watched myself VERY carefully to see if I could change her by changing me. I did notice some differences. When I'm calm she's totally calm. When I am cool and collected she's more responsive...much more responsive.
You all may be saying, "Well, DUH, Carlye, that's what kids DO!" But you don't know how delicate the exchange is until it has happened to you personally. She makes me want to be a better person. She makes me want to live from my heart. God so knows what He's doing when he gives us children. His children, His little, tiny, walking parables.