I think Lilian's expression best shows my feelings right now. GRRRRRRR!!!! I hate moving!!!!!!!! But as soon as we do, I will post a pic of our new place along with address etc. Oh, and a pic of our baby girl of course! Pray we don't lose our minds before then...

Just a quick note before church this morning...I'll post a picture later when I get a chance...
I have come to a realization in the past couple of days that I have been a selfish person. We are all selfish in some ways. But I mean there is a huge difference in Carlye before baby and Carlye after baby. At least, there is starting to be. I spent some time mourning my "pre-baby" life. The life wherein I could get up and go wherever, whenever and do whatever I wanted to do. I was sick this past week and thought of what I would have done if I had no baby to take care of...watch movies, eat soup, sleep and get well as soon as possible. Not the case now! I am no longer the one in need here. My needs are on the back burner and I am only beginning to see this as a positive thing. It has been a slow molting of my selfish side, giving way to a side that says, "you know, if I don't get a lot of sleep tonight, that's ok!". It's for a good cause. The best kind of cause - my daughter. I thought I could kinda call the shots when she first arrived. You know, it's a little baby with NO IDEA about anything except that it wants to eat, sleep, and oh hey, a dirty diaper...again. I thought I could maneuver her into a routine that we would both find quite breezy. HA! NO! I mean, she's great and has a routine for the most part, but there are moments, days and weeks where we can get off course and have to get back on track slowly but surely. I am not the leader here. I mean, yes, I have authority and am the mom, but this little gal is going to show me what she needs and isn't going to like all my bright, super "sounds great in the book" ideas. She needs a flexible mom. One that says, "hey, it's ok sweetie if you need to fuss." One that knows that a few nights of bad sleep will iron themselves out again. She's not a robot. This process between baby and parents is so perfectly aligned with our relationship to God. He just looks at us, sighs, (much like I do with Lilian) and says, "Ok, my child, let's try this again..."

It's week 15 in Lilian's life and the learning just never stops...oh, and for her too. Sean and I make sure we have time with her every day where she's doing something that challenges her brain. It's always something fun, but you can tell it's really stretching her knowledge. We call it "brain time". She has this noise she makes whenever she's either thinking really hard or trying really hard to do some task. She purses her little lips together in kind of a "kissy-face", furrows her brow and breathes very heavily through her nose. We find this very amusing, but it must be funny to see a couple holding their baby with some sort of toy or book in front of her getting all excited because she's making what we call her "thinking noise". She's such a kick. The kid just never stops smiling, and if she does it's only to stare at you and figure you out. Sometimes, early in the morning when we're up together having breakfast, she'll look at me and it's like she's looking IN me. She just gazes as me and it's a little intense. It makes me feel as though she longs to know me inside and out. Foolishly, I thought this stage would begin later in her life. She longs for us. There are times when only Daddy will do, and times when only Mommy can stop the tears. It's unbelievable to have someone that needs us that much. Sean was talking with my Mom the other day about Lily and having children. They both agreed that, unlike our God in heaven, there is no way that either of them could sacrifice their child for the sins of the world. I agree. But, I guess that's why we're human and He's God. If it would have depended on me giving Lilian up for everyone, we'd all be destined for hell. Thank God for his sacrifice. I am more in awe of it now than I have ever been. What a blessing to have both a child I will not be asked to give up and life eternal. Thank you God!